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Subject: Be There for Your Children
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From: "Fatherhood Foundation" <info@fathersonline.org>
Date: Tue, 10 Apr 2007 14:09:06 +1000
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ate1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a hr=
ef=3D'#anchor7'=3EThought for the Week</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td=
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=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E</P=3E<P align=3Dleft=3E<FONT color=3D#a0522=
d=3E<TABLE=3E<TBODY=3E<TR=3E<TD vAlign=3Dtop width=3D400=3E<FONT color=3Dmed=
iumblue=3EA mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, Ryan 3=2E T=
he boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake=2E </FONT=3E<P=3E=
<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3ETheir mother saw the opportunity for a moral less=
on=2E 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, Let my brother have the fir=
st pancake=2E I can wait=2E' </FONT=3E<P=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3EKevin =
turned to his younger brother and said, 'Ryan you be Jesus=2E' </FONT=3E</P=3E=
</TD=3E<TD width=3D50=3E=A0</TD=3E</TR=3E</TBODY=3E</TABLE=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E=
<P align=3Dleft=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E</H4=3E</H4=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div =
align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E=
</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td wid=
th=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Eb=
osweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2E=
jpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D=
'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templat=
es/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3=
 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a nam=
e=3D'anchor5'=3E</a=3E<b=3ESpecial Feature</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verda=
na' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau=
/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue130-21st February,2005=5Fblank=
enhorn=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3Dgree=
n size=3D4=3E<STRONG=3EDavid Blankenhorn in Focus</STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<=
P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EExcerpts from an interview by David Hamp=
ton</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe Institute for Ame=
rican Values is a think tank focusing on children, families, and civil socie=
ty=2E I helped to found it in 1988=2E It is located in New York City, where =
my family and I live=2E Our main idea is that too many U=2ES=2E children are=
 failing to thrive, and that strengthening families and communities would he=
lp our children and would make us a better country=2E Forget about the organ=
ization's name sounding right-wing - we are a big-tent organization and we a=
re politically nonpartisan in both letter and spirit=2E Probably our two mai=
n themes since 1988 have been that fathers are irreplaceable and that marria=
ge is our society's most pro-child institution=2E For me, being a leader of =
this organization is a dream come true=2E<BR=3E<BR=3E</FONT=3E<FONT face=3DV=
erdana size=3D2=3EThe single biggest danger is family fragmentation - the sp=
litting up of the nucleus of the nuclear family=2E This fragmentation is hap=
pening primarily because of our society's very high rates of divorce and unw=
ed childbearing=2E If I had to summarize my deepest conviction in this whole=
 area of the family, it would be that every child has a birthright to grow u=
p with her mother and father who love the child and love each other=2E Far t=
oo many of our children today are denied this birthright=2E And we see so mu=
ch childhood pain, and so many social problems, stemming from that basic den=
ial of what children need=2E<BR=3E<BR=3EI learned from my mother that love c=
an be unconditional, that gentleness is good, and that the struggle for soci=
al justice is a big part of what Christianity should be about=2E I learned f=
rom my father that trying your hardest is even more important than winning, =
that family ties are thicker than just about anything else, and that a fathe=
r's love is irreplaceable=2E My parents just celebrated their 50th wedding a=
nniversary=2E They are very different people, but they have supported and lo=
ved each other wonderfully, made their marriage work in all weathers, and bu=
ilt a bountiful life together for themselves and for their two children and =
(now) five grandchildren=2E Pretty admirable, I'd say=2E And quite a set of =
lessons=2E<BR=3EPope John Paul II says that we only find ourselves through t=
he sincere gift of the self=2E I believe that=2E And that kind of love is pr=
ecisely the love that we first learn, or do not learn, in our families=2E It=
 is our family that, one hopes, first loves us into loving and first smiles =
us into smiling=2E If there is a more important influence in our lives, both=
 individually and as a society, I don't know what it is=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EI've always thought that it is important to =
believe that the universe is ultimately good and that love will ultimately t=
riumph, even over death=2E The Bible says that the most important of the vir=
tues is love, and I won't argue with that, yet in some ways, of the classic =
theological virtues, my favorite is hope=2E Vaclav Havel reminds us that hop=
e is not the same as optimism=2E Optimism is the belief that things will tur=
n out well=2E Hope is the belief that certain things are worth doing regardl=
ess of how they turn out=2E I suppose that one could do a lot worse, in seek=
ing a philosophy of life, than embracing the Bible's idea, found in the book=
 of Micah, of doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with your God=2E=
<BR=3E<BR=3E<BR=3E</FONT=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EI think it's hard=
er to be a child today=2E And while parenting has always been a tough challe=
nge, I think that it's probably also harder to be a good parent today=2E Par=
ents today get less support from the local community and from the broader so=
ciety and culture=2E Many more parents today are single parents=2E Also, som=
e of the expectations of what a good parent is supposed to do - the shuttlin=
g of children to endless classes and activities, for example - seem to be hi=
gher=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe three most im=
portant things for children=3F To love and be loved by their mother and fath=
er=2E To have enduring relationships over time with others who care for them=
 and care what kind of people they become=2E To learn what it means to live =
a good life=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EI don't co=
nsider myself to be a good example of a person of faith=2E I belong to a chu=
rch, try to pray, and read and think often about religious issues=2E I don't=
 hold all (and maybe not even most) of the orthodox beliefs of the Christian=
 church, but I was raised as a Christian and try, in my own weak way, to be =
faithful to that tradition=2E I greatly admire people of deep and sincere re=
ligious faith=2E In some ways I'm jealous of them=2E As I've gotten older, o=
ne thing I've come to realize is that, in one important sense, every person =
is a person of faith=2E Everyone - even the atheist - has 'faith' in somethi=
ng=2E Everyone embraces some value as his or her highest value=2E Taking som=
e things 'on faith' is both unavoidable and part of what makes us human=2E S=
o the real question is not, 'Do you have faith=3F' but instead 'What do you =
have faith in=3F' And the gentle answer that I learned long ago in Sunday Sc=
hool at Fondren Presbyterian Church - let's sum it up as the title of the ol=
d hymn, This Is My Father's World - is still, for me, the best and most plau=
sible answer=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E'Family v=
alues' is a term that originated on the political right, but at the national=
 level is now used primarily by those on the political left to label people =
with whom they disagree=2E For this reason, I think the term is hopeless and=
 should be abandoned=2E We should just say 'I care about families' or 'that =
person cares about families' and go from there=2E </FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT =
face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe full interview is at the link below=2E It is w=
orthy reading=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D1=3E<A href=3D=
'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/rr=2Easp=3Fs=3D3408&v=3D55&c=3D=
21&u=3Dhttp://www=2Eclarionledger=2Ecom/apps/pbcs=2Edll/article=3FAID=3D/200=
40801/OPINION/408010304&SearchID=3D73179448903705'=3Ehttp://www=2Eclarionled=
ger=2Ecom/apps/pbcs=2Edll/article=3FAID=3D/20040801/OPINION/408010304&Search=
ID=3D73179448903705</A=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D1=3E=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F</FONT=3E<=
/P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EDavid Blankenhorn is founder and p=
resident of the Institute for American Values, a private, nonpartisan organi=
zation devoted to contributing intellectually to the renewal of marriage and=
 family life and the sources of competence, character, and citizenship in th=
e United States=2E<BR=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<fon=
t size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E=
</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D1=
3 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/em=
ail=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E=
</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' backgrou=
nd=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/templat=
e1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, =
Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor7'=3E</=
a=3E<b=3EThought for the Week</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E=
<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/=
client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue130-21st February,2005=5Fsmiling=5Fkids=2Ejpg=
' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'mso-bidi-font-size: 12=
=2E0pt'=3E<FONT color=3Ddeeppink=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<FONT color=3Dbrown=3E=
<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'FON=
T-SIZE: 14pt'=3E<FONT size=3D6=3E<FONT color=3Dteal=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU sty=
le=3D'FONT-SIZE: 14pt'=3E<FONT size=3D5=3E<FONT color=3Dteal=3E<SPAN lang=3D=
EN-AU style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 14pt'=3E<FONT color=3Dslateblue=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-=
AU style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 14pt'=3E<FONT color=3Dred=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal styl=
e=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E</FONT=3E</SP=
AN=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-font-weight: normal'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D=
'FONT-SIZE: 14pt'=3E</SPAN=3E</B=3E</P=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'FONT-SI=
ZE: 14pt'=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS'=3E<FONT size=3D3=3E<FONT color=3Din=
digo=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<FONT size=3D5=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGI=
N: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-fo=
nt-weight: normal'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3EIt is o=
ur family that, one hopes, <=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schema=
s-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</B=3E</=
P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' a=
lign=3Dcenter=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-font-weight: normal'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-=
AU=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3Efirst loves us into loving and <o:p=3E</o:p=3E=
</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</B=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-font-weight: =
normal'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3Efirst smiles us in=
to smiling=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</B=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNorm=
al style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<SPAN =
lang=3DEN-AU=3E<o:p=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center'=
 align=3Dcenter=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<FONT color=3Dmediumblue=3EDavid Blan=
kenhorn</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm=
 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU=3E<o:p=3E<FONT face=3D'Times New Roman' color=3D#=
000000 size=3D3=3E=A0</FONT=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E</F=
ONT=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E<=
/FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FON=
T=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D=
2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</=
font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolo=
r=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fbl=
ast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E<=
/tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'ht=
tp://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Gener=
ic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, H=
elvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor8'=3E</a=3E<b=3E=
News & Info</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=
=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/=
fathers=5Fissue130-21st February,2005=5Fnews reading2=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E=
</div=3E <SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
<SPAN lang=3DEN-AU style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT c=
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dana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Di=
ndianred size=3D4=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E=
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idi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred si=
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=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E<=
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'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E=
<FONT color=3Dindianred size=3D4=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMI=
LY: Verdana'=3E<FONT color=3D#000000=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY:=
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idi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
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oNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY=
: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT colo=
r=3Dindianred size=3D4=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-=
bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred s=
ize=3D4=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FONT colo=
r=3D#000000=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-s=
ize: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred size=3D4=3E<=
SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; =
mso-ansi-language: FR'=3EViolent Games Provoke Children</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</S=
PAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMI=
LY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<SPAN la=
ng=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ans=
i-language: FR'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<S=
PAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; m=
so-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dblack size=3D2=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=
=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: F=
R'=3EThe evidence continues to show a link with what kids watch and their be=
haviour=2E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P cla=
ss=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT=
-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FO=
NT color=3Dindianred size=3D4=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdan=
a; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindi=
anred size=3D4=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<FO=
NT color=3D#000000=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi=
-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred size=3D=
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0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E<=
/FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MA=
RGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi=
-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred=3E<SP=
AN lang=3DFR style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; ms=
o-ansi-language: FR'=3E<FONT color=3Dindianred=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 1=
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